I’m writing this, my first post, approximately a week after coming back from a once in a lifetime holiday. We’re close to the 20 week mark with the pregnancy but to be completely honest I think I was using the holiday as something of an excuse not to think about the fact that I’m going to have a baby.

How long am I going to take off for pat leave? No point thinking about that until after the holiday.

How long is my partner going to want to take off for maternity leave? Eh, let’s think about that after the holiday.

What does our financial situation look like with the potential that our earnings decline and our outgoing increase significantly for the next 5 years? Well we’re about to drop £5,000 on a holiday so might as well get the spreadsheets out after that.

In hindsight this may not have been the best approach.

Since returning from holiday I have realised firstly that I have developed a dad bod, second that I have a huge list of things to do before the baby arrives, and third that I may be suffering from a prolonged panic attack. For the first time I think the reality is hitting me that I am in fact going to have a baby and that my life can be expected to change pretty drastically for the next quarter century.

So why am I writing this? Honestly I’m hoping that writing this blog and throwing it out into the void of the internet will force me to consider my own feelings, assumptions, and fears around fatherhood. I also hope that publishing this in a theoretically public place will keep me accountable. Though if I’m honest I don’t really expect anyone to read it.

With that I’ll sign off on what I hope is one of many blog posts which may or may not help to keep me sane.

P.S. If anyone is reading this then I can only apologise for the web design or lack thereof. I have only the most basic level of technological literacy and frankly I feel now is not the time to take up learning web design.